The New York Observer's Rebecca Dana writes about socializing with some of cable news' Names (MSNBC's Tucker Carlson, moving back to Washington, and Rick Kaplan, FNC's Greta Van Susteren, and CNN's Wolf Blitzer) and in the process manages to make Washington, DC sound like the kind of place God sends you to suffer when Hell is too glamorous:

...an investigative journey was made to what was said to be the heart of D.C. hotness: the infamous Bloomberg after-party to the White House correspondents’ dinner.

MSNBC president Rick Kaplan wasn’t feeling the hotness of either the party or D.C. He said the whole affair gave him the “heebie-jeebies,” and get him back to the city—he meant New York, silly!—please, the sooner the better.

Asked what was hot in D.C., CNN anchor and District resident Wolf Blitzer launched into a five-minute monologue about the athletic prowess of the Washington Wizards. (It’s a basketball team!) “I love them,” said Mr. Blitzer. “I’m a season-ticket holder!”

“We’re one of America’s premiere second-tier cities,” said American Prospect staffer Garance Franke-Ruta, caught waiting in line for the bathroom. “I’ve been here nine years, and I can say one thing: It’s much better than it used to be.” And? “And it’s way better than St. Louis, I’ll tell you that.”

That's just a snippet--you really have to read the whole piece to get the true bitchy, dismissive flavor of Dana's Washington Whatever assessment. TCG moved to Washington right after high school and while she is occasionally disheartened by the dearth of hot clothing she will say this: there is no place in the world like Washington, where nobodies like TCG can have dinner the next table over from people who influence national and world news and events on a daily basis. Can you imagine how boring cable news would be if Washington didn't exist?

So rip on our second-tier city all you want, New York. We've got the smartest people in the world massing in the cable news studios here like there's no tomorrow and believe me, most cable news viewers would not want to live in a world where instead of Brit Hume's "Special Report," we've got Lou Dobbs in New York combing his ego in the camera's reflection or Dan Abrams in that nexus of hipness, Secaucus, NJ, being really really sincere about something or other...and, well, actually, the ratings already reflect that.

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