While I was with Gamasutra, we ran some post-GDC stuff with Zelda father Eiji Aonuma, talking about the series in general. And we almost immediately got a very strange comment from someone identifying himself as "craig george." Craig left a barely literate criticism of Twilight Princess in the comments - not such an unusual thing, we reasoned, for an article on a high-profile game series.
Said Craig:
Well I think a man that stands as tall as the sun stands In no ones shadow
As I can say I have played Zelda like an addict
I think I can see many flaws with twilight princess even though that not grate they are quite clear
The utilization of space was a misconception and a waist
there was enough game play to utilize an area like hyrule field
Every entrance blocked, meant nothing as when it came down to freeing them up there was no need for the use.
The action was set high /brutality but like walking into shop to” buy” special armor was humiliating
The game play did not meet up on the same level as the characters you interacted with.
Okay, again, fairly normal. But things started to get a little odd when, on a near-daily basis, Craig began to post pages and pages of apparent "suggestions" for what would make a better Zelda game -- and these de-evolved into bizarre game scripts and storyboards:
Link :hea!
He heads the horse as he quickly heads for his village, reaching the village it to was ablaze
And every 1 was missing except one figure standing out side the mayors house so link rides over the bridge
realizes it is his friend as she turns round slowly
Link :are you ok !
as she turns to face him he can see her eyes are white and a strange look upon her face, link flashes back to the vision given to him in the cave at lake hyrule ,the image haunting as this was the same image
Jumping off his horse link moved to words her ,just then she launched an attack, his blade running her threw with out hesitation almost like it was a natural reaction to him, as her small dagger touched the ground at her feet she looks straight into Links eyes .
Llia: mah..ah.aha.
This took link by surprise.
It was not a woman’s voice but a mans voice that spoke
Llia: look at my for hand I have the same mark as you.
Okay, maybe this was a joke, right? But ever since the March 12th publish date of this article, "craig george" has been providing lengthy updates in the comments almost daily, with many of his posts suggesting that he was the originator of the Zelda concept, and had his ideas stolen:
Base principal of design no 1 was allowed to die
Why Mindy was Zelda and link
As Zelda and link were imposters
When Mindy[1] / link, Mindy[2] / Zelda hid in links shadow
When Mindy[2] / Zelda was link/wolf, for link was a woman who dressed like a man
In the beginning , Mindy[1] / link rode on the back.
But then in the game he wanted every 1 to die
So Mindy took every players place so every ones eyes are blue
So no 1 had to die because Mindy had protection from the
King as eyes of blue but only people with brown eyes could write the rules
So Mindy wore contacts to fool the devil into believing Mindy had eyes of brown
So he could change the rules, so the king became Mindy ,so did his daughter
As she played the game 2…so I became the king ,who lost his game as Mindy won.
so the rules were changed by eyes of brown
But im still Mindy eyes of blue for it was always my story not yours…so no 1 had to die
In the game.
Craig also provided a link to a website, "asiangirlsarecute," that claims he's a 33-year-old from Auckland, New Zealand, and often features his poetry and comments similar to what he's left on the Zelda article. The unsettling image that you see at the top of this post was found on his website, apparently to represent the "Mindy" duality he often refers to in his posts.
Craig appears to still update his website regularly, though his last post on the Aonuma article was May 31:
Oh I nearly forgot ..the wii it’s a sword with a glove joystick modified..for it was made for the game not Nintendo..
So u designed it why did you did not get credit?
Did you not here me I cant remember~~~
Why don’t you ask the devil
Dip his head in chemicals ,rap rubber around him beat him…then cut him and tell him
You cut your finger when you were 5 and your mother did it as you were evil
Then ask him were you get that cut? If he tells you you just cut him do it again until he remembers
He was 5 and hisr mother did it as you were evil
Let you into the nightmares that I dream as you stole my dreams ..you and the American you stole the game from.
For I was 1 of those boys … and im lvl 20 to game I was never playing
Take a sword and do the honorable thing…for in this story all the horse men die.
The entire long-running comment thread is highly unsettling, as is a note on the website that "if u cut you can call me craigie."
