Courtesy of Jossip, check out some of the dumbest, grossest, lowest-common-denominator-pandering cable news quotes of the week. Oh, and Keith Olbermann reminds us that if it weren't for attacking Bill O'Reilly, he'd have no purpose in life:
While we would rather protect you from Tucker Carlson's take on vibrators and Paula Zahn on Rosie O'Donell's crush on Angelina Jolie, we've already put Intern Wendy through the torture of watching these people.
Just remember, it's you — the viewers — who are keeping these people on the air.
• "All of human existence divides evenly into two categories, those times when Bill O'Reilly has just said something stupid or destructive and those times when Bill O'Reilly is about to say something stupid or destructive." —Keith Olbermann, Countdown, March 31
• "Rabbits, beware!" —Ron Reagan, stating that Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney won't be ignored, Hardball, March 31
• "Well, now, she has had a little history of temper tantrums in the past." —Rita Cosby on Naomi Campbell's history of cellphone tossing, Live and Direct, April 3
• "Is that a technical legal term: 'getting off your big, fat butt?'" —Nancy Grace, Nancy Grace, April 4
• "The day I walk into a pharmacy on Valentine's Day late in the afternoon, desperate to get those cards, and find a vibrating phone joke, I'm going to buy eight of them." — Tucker Carlson, The Situation, April 4
• "Oh, someone like me." —Walter Cronkite, on what makes a great anchor, Larry King Live, April 5
• But you also didn't say you had the hots for Angelina Jolie?" — Paula Zahn, asking Rosie O'Donnell about her dream date, Paula Zahn Now, April 5
• And what's the last thing you remember before jumping out of the garage?" — Rita Cosby, getting the interview only she can get with a binge drinker, Live and Direct, April 6
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