The title of the post, of course, is from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City's KCHAT radio ad for fictional film "Exploder." Speaking of GTA, why is the upcoming one called GTA IV when it's actually, like... the sixth (not counting the Stories ones)? How is it that Liberty, Vice and San Andreas are all GTA III? Anyway, I digress.
The talk radio and ad spots are one of the most brilliant and enjoyable parts of the Grand Theft Auto series, and Vice City's are hands-down the most hilarious. GTA gets a helluva rap, obviously, for its violent and obscene elements-- cappin' the fuzz, clubbing some fat dude to death for his money, chainsawing a prostitute-- you can do it all. But I've said before, some really fantastic subtlety is often overlooked in favor of these hallmark broader strokes. The amount of psychologically resonant detail in the surroundings-- the surly chicken-suited whiteboy staffing a Cluckin' Bell in the San Andreas hood, or the canned tunes in the franchise-festooned strip mall of the neon Vice City (perfect background music for glass-breaking register robbery, by the way). Sheer delight, tearing through dark streets at night on a crime spree, listening to a whiny public radio treatise on parenting interrupted by weeping emo-goth kids and self-righteous have-it-all Moms.
Especially hilarious in Vice City is the irony of listening to callers complain about game violence. Not just because you're playing the king of all offensive games, but because the game's set in the eighties-- and you've just heard ads for the era's simplistic arcade games, reduced to red and green squares shooting each other. Anyway, point is, it's friggin' fab, and now Rockstar's giving us the opportunity to possibly appear on the radio in GTA IV. Got something to say? There's a real phone number (local to New York, nyah nyah) for WKTT, and you can call in and record a rant (think Jerri Blank SOMETHIN'-TA-SAY, and if you know what I'm talking about you've elevated your status in my eyes) for possible inclusion in the next game.
I am SO calling that number. Numerous times. Y'know, just so they can have a wide selection of Leigh Material to choose from. And while we're on the topic of shooting games and Bein' Done Killin'-- I've got a little something to get off my chest. SOMETHIN'-TA-SAY, if you will.
I confess; I'm tired of shooters. Granted, it's proper to make a real big fuss over indie games, especially if you're a journalist. Maybe it makes us seem more hip and connected, or maybe it's that the jaded cynic in us all is tired of 60FPS frame rates and richly rendered realtime this and that and we're relieved to see something a little simple. Maybe we're sick of being jerked around by major bigs and want to see a little guy win. Usually, though, it's that sometimes these indie devs who do it for the love with nothing to lose or gain come up with something that's actually solid and special. The verdict on Everyday Shooter is laudatory; everyone who's tried it loved it.
And I have no interest in trying it.
I feel, y'know... obligated, in a way that I wouldn't if it were, say, Namco-Bandai. But the whole "shooting flying things with dots?" I haven't been able to get into that for, like, a decade now. Sure, I'll still take the Galaga cabinet at the laundromat for a ride once in a while, for nostalgia's sake, but overall? I'm friggin' sick of shooting. The fact that I'm looking forward to Bioshock nearly as much as Metal Gear 4 is, for me, a major anomoly-- though I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that Bioshock has an unprecedented level of freedom over how you clear a level, and you needn't just plow your way through with a hail of bullets. Metal Gear's the same, come to think of it.I complained a little recently about the glut of casual games at E3, feeling that devs and pubs had their eyes swapped for dollar signs and forgot about their core, an audience of actual gamers. But perhaps that's not the whole story; perhaps they haven't forgotten us at all, and this ridiculous market saturation of shooter games (not just things like Everyday Shooter, Geometry Wars and Super Stardust HD, but the Killzones and the Mass Effects and their ilk) is actually their wham-bam, quick-easy way of balming the "hardcore" at the same time.
Make all kinds of gender remarks about how my general ambivalence for shooters is a chick thing; I'm not sure it isn't. And, y'know, it's not like I dislike them; not in the least. What I dislike is that repetitive zone-out that occurs when you're playing a game where the only thing to do, really, is to fire. And fire. And fire. Especially with that dark-background, seizure-inducing strobe effect that's so popular these days. Exploding things, like an... Exploder! But I guess I'm a "man of peace" now, who promised to "cry when I'm done killin'". Which means it's time to cry, because I'm bored of shooting crap up. Whether it's repetitive gaming (fire, fire, pew-pew-pew) or repetitive game-buying (shooter, shooter, shooter), it's the lack of variety that's making me yawn at a lot of new games. Even if they are unconventional indie titles.
Though, this kid who made Everyday Shooter, Jonathan Mak, is vaguely cute, in a "I designed the hit indie title of the year" kinda way. Geek cred is sex appeal, after all.
