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Unlock This!

Written By mista sense on Monday, October 15, 2007 | 5:31 AM

So, it's finally time for a new 'Best of SVGL,' and I gotta give cred to Chris Dahlen for this idea. Whenever you hear someone from Microsoft talk about XBLA's achievements, you can see the glow in their eyes, and the light glittering on their teeth as they grin. It's because they know they've hit a gold mine. Achievements are frickin' brilliant, and I must confess -- when told about the idea at first, I didn't think it'd be the kind of thing that would interest, motivate or concern me. They're just little banners and badges, they unlock nothing, they affect the gameplay not at all. And yet, anyone who plays Xbox knows the little thrill you get when you unlock one, and how, despite yourself, you subconsciously start dicking around in a game to see what you can get an achievement for.

Maybe it's because, as you guys have noticed recently, I hail from a sorta old-school milieu of easter eggs and obscure solutions, and if I were miraculously struck by lightning and bestowed with the skill to design my own game, I'd stash it full of secret, wacky achievements. Chris had the genius idea to come up with the concept of "universal achievements" -- that is, achievements that apply across the board to all of the games you play:

You can earn achievements from any game on the XBox 360. But why don’t they hand out achievements across games? “Lifetime” achievements for honors that are beyond any one title?

- THE JILL SOBULE: Making two girls kiss, in any game, for any reason. 50 points

- SCHOOLYARD BULLY: Killing the same player in at least five games’ deathmatches. 100 points

- FRAG THE LIEUTENANT: Leading 100 of your computer-controlled squadmates or comrades to their deaths. 75 points

- MADE IN AMERICA: Driving only US-made vehicles in racing games. 100 points

- WOULD BUY SUSHI FROM McDONALDS: Play at least 3 Japanese RPGs on the XBox. 150 points

- BROKEBACK XBOX: Making boys kiss, in any game, for any reason. 500 points


This week, I want you guys to come up with some "Achievements," universal or otherwise. You can run with Chris' idea and find an achievement that brilliantly (or not so brilliantly) ties together some common universal gameplay threads, or you can make up fake achievements for what you've been playing now based on stupid things you do in the game. They can be funny, silly, obscure, clever, or anything you want. Agents are GO!

Also, you can go here to make your own graphics, like I did in the post header. You can't embed 'em here, but you can, like, tape 'em to your TV, or something.



[Via SavetheRobot]

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