So, some of you may have read my recent, semi-controversial Escapist piece about people who roleplay Final Fantasy VII over AOL. The article was focused primarily on the most intense of a rather large crew of AOL people I knew in my teens, who were still right where I left 'em when I went to go search out interviewees for this feature. Anyway, an AOL reader who wishes to remain anonymous wrote me to highlight that text roleplayers of other video game allegiances are just as worthy of note as the FFVII RPers.
This reader has been on AOL RPing Alucard, of Castlevania fame, and was in search of fellow RPers to play the roles of the game's other leading characters. When this reader, a male, found what seemed to be a competent RPer for the role of Maria, he didn't mind that the aspiring Maria was also a male. Sensibly, the two of them began an email exchange to decide how the relationship between Alucard and Maria might work out for a storyline set to take place after the events of Symphony of the Night.
What follows are excerpts from that email exchange, wherein the Maria hopeful aims to provide his input:
I agree that Alucard and Maria would not consummate their union unless he was careful not to impregnate her and only bed her out of amour and lust attributed together. I really do see Alucard and Maria being in love and highly attracted to one another, but I don't see any children being that he would not want to immortalize her in an unholy way and ruin her humanity that he loves about her. He believes himself tainted by the blood running through his veins and the taste for blood that harbors a brutal way of sating his inhuman appetite for the living's vital fluid, thus he is another Louis from The Vampire Chronicles.
From the way it seems, I imagine Alucard would tingle quite often with desire and face heavy amounts of temptation to make love to Maria; she is obviously very beautiful, voluptuous and fiery -- something that turns any man on especially when she is as determined as a Belmont to lay the undead to rest with her own hand. I'm almost certain that there is sap between both her and Alucard when they are alone; tender kisses, tight embraces ant hair stroking as well as nuzzling and sweet words -- but again, in order for him to be with her forever, one would have to surrender their soul to eternal life and thus lose their humanity. Alucard, although tormented by outliving the woman he loves just like another who was the object of his affection back in the 1400's (a true CV fan will not disregard Sonia), would rather Maria hold onto her humanity and stay pure.
Temptation? Consummation? Impregnation? Sap? Our friend, playing Alucard, was not particularly interested in such a... tingly storyline, and so informed his new acquaintance over IMs. But the would-be Maria, heart afire, seemed to take a while to get the hint, indicated by the following excerpt from the IM conversation (screen names altered to protect the innocent and the not-so-much). It began innocently enough, with Maria Hopeful offering to create a fancy profile graphic for our friend:
Maria Hopeful [7:27 P.M.]: It's not easy, but not impossible either. Alucard is too sexah' not to have one. Besides... those boots are BIG. xD
Anonymous Reader [7:28 P.M.]: Alucard: ::Trips over them.:: !!!
Maria Hopeful [7:28 P.M.]: Dude, they gotta' be a fucking size 14. xD
Maria Hopeful [7:28 P.M.]: And you know what that means.
Anonymous Reader [7:28 P.M.]: ...Gee, I haven't the faintest.
Maria Hopeful [7:28 P.M.]: XD
Maria Hopeful [7:29 P.M.]: Pig benis.
Anonymous Reader [7:29 P.M.]: Ha ha.
Maria Hopeful [7:29 P.M.]: Well, he has to be packin'. Every male hero of their respective game is obliged to.
Maria Hopeful [7:29 P.M.]: I mean, they are the HER.
Maria Hopeful [7:29 P.M.]: O*
Maria Hopeful [7:29 P.M.]: Who gets the broad on his arm and a killer weapon in the other hand.
Anonymous Reader [7:30 P.M.]: Sure. But realistically, that's not an indication of penis size. Like these dudes with the mammoth over-sized weapons? They could be compensating.
Maria Hopeful [7:31 P.M.]: Lmfao.
Maria Hopeful [7:31 P.M.]: Oh, I know the myth doesn't have anything to do with size... but it's a nice myth.
Maria Hopeful [7:31 P.M.]: Besides, he's like... 6'5." Not a small man. ::Cough.::
Anonymous Reader [7:33 P.M.]: Ha ha. I don't know... I think he's tall, but not especially tall. There's that hidden item in SotN. Secret Boots, I think they're called. The caption is something along the lines of "Discreetly increases height." Ha ha. But no, not small by any means.
Maria Hopeful [7:34 P.M.]: LOL.
Maria Hopeful [7:34 P.M.]: What do you think about my reply to your e-mail sweetly entitled "Ave Maria?"
Anonymous Reader [7:39 P.M.]: Well, I did want to address some of that, actually. I think we're looking at the Alucard/Maria dynamic in fundamentally different ways. There's nothing wrong with that, but I just wanted to be (dare I say) explicit about my take on it. While I definitely see the potential for a romantic and/or physical relationship, anything like that would (for me) have to develop naturally over the course of the plot. When I've been in storylines with romantic or sexual elements, it's most rewarding when it evolves on
Anonymous Reader [7:40 P.M.]: its own.
Kind, open-minded reader! At this point, you'd think he has quite clearly conveyed to his new playmate that he's not interested in jumping right into plotless cybersex, right? Alas, it was not to be. The anonymous reader tells me that, when Maria Hopeful was introduced into the group of Castlevania players, only a moment later, the once avid hopeful suddenly got cold feet when he realized no Alucard cybersex would be taking place. The hopeful dismissed himself from the storyline, claiming he preferred a "more dramatic" style of play. ...Yeah.
Who said Saturday nights had to be boring? Thanks, reader!
