In the comments of my last post, SVGLer Laura asked if this article disgusts me. SVGLer Marijn says that what's disgusting is that women attending the panel covered in said article weren't offended.
Color me steel-stomached; I'm not really offended, either.
In case you don't have time to catch up, it's MSNBC's coverage of a PAX panel advising attendees on "How to get your girlfriend into gaming." Highlights of the panel coverage: girls won't play games with their boyfriends if they act like jerks about it, "chicks like flattery" (courtesy of XBL's community manager), and the general idea that it's unlikely you're gonna get your girl to play Halo.
The funny thing is, I wish I could roll my eyes at this. I mean, I'm a female who plays video games, and I don't require any such handling. The general message of the panel (which I didn't attend, mind) seems to suggest that girls require a little bit of user-friendliness -- which could be interpreted as condescension in this context -- to take an interest in games.
I'm not, actually, disgusted at this assertion. I'm disappointed that it's somewhat true. I wish I could get my girl friends "into gaming," too.
I -- and girls who read this blog -- are exceptions to the rule, unfortunately. While I do think it's something that can be changed, and it's not some hard-and-fast attitude innate to the female gender, the fact is that women are harder to approach on the subject of gaming than males are. This is something I've become intimately familiar with, because while many in the gaming audience have few opportunities to introduce their hobby to most of the people they meet unless they become closer friends, it's something that I've got to talk about all the time, almost right away upon being introduced to someone and they ask me, "what do you do?"
And with few exceptions, I find that men are pleasantly surprised, curious or amenable when they hear about my career. Even men who don't own or play any video games themselves and aren't necessarily interested in becoming "gamers" per se are, at least, intrigued. Women I meet, on the other hand, appear distinctly uncomfortable. It's not that they are necessarily judgmental; they just seem distinctly put-off about something they don't seem to feel would be "for them." In general, during the "what do you do?" conversations I have with people out in society, men find my job impressive; women find it quirky. There's a distinction.
Now, a good many of my non-gaming female friends seem interested in trying games, actually, but if I had to identify one barrier, it's that they're intimidated. It makes them feel like outsiders, and maybe some of these girls have one too many "manchildren" in their past, ex-boyfriends who preferred games to intimacy. Not that the games were to blame for their immature exes, of course, but many of my female acquaintances make the connection, at least.
As a writer, I usually try to leave my gender out of things. We can talk until we're blue in the face about "what women like" and don't like as concerns games, but writing about games is my job, and while I have tastes and preferences like anyone, I don't think they have to do with the fact I'm female. I know I'm an exception in the gaming world, and that's never bothered me.
But lately, I've been wondering about precisely why I'm an exception among other women, and why they're less likely to be interested in gaming. My usual attitude of gender-blindness isn't helping me here. I'm glad that some of you asked me about the PAX panel, because I recently took a stab at the topic of women and games in the latest Aberrant Gamer column -- check it out.
Ultimately, what I think is that while there are certain games with aesthetic and emotional traits that appeal to female sensibilities more than others, game preferences truly are more about taste than gender, and the reason for the gaming gender gap has more to do with packaging, presentation and larger cultural attitudes outside of the game community. The short answer, I suppose, is that we're not doing anything "wrong" -- society is.
So, no, I'm not disgusted by the PAX panel. I'm a little bit sad that this is the sort of advice that actually holds water. But another message of the column I wrote this week is that, while being gender-divisive and discriminatory isn't helpful to anyone, we can't be so politically correct that we overlook the fact that social conditioning has engendered (har har) generalized differences between males and females. Pretending we've all got the same needs and have been taught the same modalities of self-expression isn't going to help anyone.
Anyway, for more of my thoughts on the topic, check out this week's Aberrant Gamer. I honestly don't like to focus too much on the issue, because my position remains largely unchanged -- we treat games like a civilized medium and push for sophistication in areas other than tech and design, and eventually a civilized, diverse audience will see the appeal. And that doesn't require a special focus on any one group.
