Matt from Game Eaters posted some questions to me in the comments section of this post that I actually get asked a lot, so I figured I'd make a new post to answer them for those of you I haven't been able to get back to.
I know plenty of women who play videogames and watch anime. However, you are the only woman I have ever come across who plays (and likes) h-games. I know women, however, who like dating games--even the ones where you play a man--because they are some of the few games you can find where the core gameplay is actually about subtle feelings and social maneuvering.
To be fair, I don't know too many women gamers in general. I mean, I know some, but I've met them largely online -- which means they're part of a sphere that writes and socializes about games, not exactly a normative sampling. I do feel that social sims in general are popular among girls (even I'm a hardcore Harvest Moon fan), and while I won't generalize to the point where I'd say "women like feelings and socializing more than men do," (because I don't think that's true) I'll never pretend that women and men aren't different, either, in terms of what motivates them in play.
Based on your description of some of the (good) h-games you've played, it sounds like your interest in h-games is similar. They are about realms of human experience that other games don't touch, and when they are actually well-designed and well-written they can be very special. Given this assumption (which I hope is correct) I am curious about a few things. First of all, do you know any other women who are also into h-games or are other women turned off my them even in spite of the emotional content? If so, why are you not turned off?
You are correct; I write about H-games because they really go where no other game can or does, in many ways -- yeah, of course, the sexual activity is part of that, and I am especially interested in how some practices that common culture finds loathsome or aberrant are so common (and enjoyable) in H-games , and the reasons why. As to whether I know any other women specifically into H-games? Not personally, but I know there are some, and I'm sure I've chatted on the internet about them to girls before. I've actually found that those females I have come across who are into H-games (or sex games in general) are actually more open about their enjoyment of the sexual elements; it's the men who are always saying, "it's about deeper feelings and greater story."
Why am I not turned off? Part of it, I think, is because as a games writer I'm less inclined to automatically personalize every experience. I mean, I can, and do -- that's the beauty part -- but if I'm looking at something from an analytical standpoint, I am absolutely not going to see a woman in a bondage scene as any kind of reflection on me, or on women's issues, or feel offended. I always see a scene in a game -- or a movie, film or book -- pretty much as what it is; a scene in a game, and not some kind of blanket statement about how all men feel about all women or about me. Do I wonder about what certain things in games, like women who orgasm from rape or hordes of black people as monsters, mean to me? Sure. But are those things going to offend me personally? Most likely, no.
Specifically you asked why I'm not turned off, though, which assumes that I still find H-games personally sexual. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't; like any person regardless of gender, whether what you're seeing on a screen or doing in a game is arousing, sexually or otherwise, is a matter of subjective taste. Sometimes I really enjoy the H-games that turn me off, that are bizarre or just plain bad, because I think there's always something more interesting going on beneath the camp and cheese -- so I like them even if they don't turn me on.
I guess these are loaded questions. I spent a lot of time in university with feminists hearing about the "male gaze" and whatnot, so I am mildly fascinated in how a woman could just look past sexual imagery that is constantly signifying itself for male consumption. As a woman do you ever find the "hey, this is for you (i.e. men) to get off on" vibe distracting from the elements you like? Would you be interested in seeing a similar game with a female protagonist fucking a bunch of men instead? Or do you just take all the sexual politics as given and shrug it off in favor of the juicy stuff underneath?
The bottom line is that yeah, I am a woman, obviously, but that doesn't mean anything special to me, beyond the basics. I don't see my gender as something that needs to determine my tastes or my place in society. To me, feminism means that a woman feels that her gender affords her something special; I'm actually sort of opposed to that. I'm female, I'm feminine, I like being a girl just as much as the next person, but there's very little, at least in media, that can influence me based on that fact, and not because of something more rational, like my personal tastes or curiosities.
Being a professional writer, I tend to avoid airing personal issues about my own sexuality, but since it's relevant here, what the hell. I'm bisexual, so I'm sure that affects the way I see women in a sexual context. Nonetheless, you're right in that H-games are targeted specifically at men, but no, that doesn't make me feel left out. I think that even if I were wholly straight, a sex scene is still a sex scene; men are visual creatures and porn like that has existed since the dawn of time. It's part of humanity, and again, while I'm a girl, I am primarily a human first, and so I don't feel excluded in any way.
Would I be interested in seeing an H-game with a female protagonist and male partners? Yeah, just because I've never seen such a thing before (with the exception of the X-Change series, where your character becomes a woman at times). Would that be the dynamic I'd prefer? Probably not, actually, but then, that gets into the whole issue of individual, personal preferences regarding sex -- that are simply about sex, once again, and not blanket statements on gender relations. At least, not to me. So yeah, I take the sexual politics as a given, but it's not as if I feel it's something negative I'm forced to overlook; it just is, and I rather enjoy sexual politics. If there were constant equality, I think it'd be boring -- the power struggle, and the factual differences between genders, is part of what makes male-female sexuality so charged.
Sorry for the long post, guys! One of the things I love most about doing this blog is that I hear from a much higher percentage of cool, smart readers than I do anywhere else; if you have got questions, ideas, thoughts and whatnot, I love hearing from you.
Oh, and the post image is from Dan Kim's freaking hysterical H-game manga; if you've never seen it (or any of his other comic panels) you should definitely take a look.
