Since I'm on a 7-day stint with no videogames, I suddenly noticed there is a presidential campaign in progress that apparently is pretty important. I guess people are voting for someone for something, I dunno. Anyway, in the noble spirit of caucus time, SVGL is proud to present the 2008 Videogameland Presidential Race, in which candidates were nominated for their spirit of leadership. Since this is an important time of very serious decision-making, who gets your vote for president?
Big Boss
Pros: A military veteran who understands the sensitive climate currently surrounding our international relations. He's also a perfectly-trained killing machine, and if Russia gets out of hand, he can sneak in unnoticed, steal their weapons secrets and rescue scientists. He supports stem cell research.
Cons: He supports human cloning. Questions surrounding his mental fitness abound.
Albert Wesker
Pros: Strong background in national security, capable of protecting our interests against outside forces. FEMA disasters are a thing of the past -- when it comes to crisis-torn areas, he has experience in quick, proactive and absolute disaster containment. Supports innovative and forward-looking disease research.
Cons: Supports lethal flesh-eating viruses. Poor relations with the Russians, and unlikely to fund the police force. Doesn't negotiate.
Wallace Breen
Pros: Extensive experience ruling earth and presiding over complicated facilities. Maintains order through successful "hearts and minds" campaigns. Excellent charisma and television personality. Successfully negotiated the peaceful end of the Seven Hour War.
Cons: Ended aforementioned war by handing humanity to frightening aliens. Supports slavery and martial law.
Bowser Koopa
Pros: Inspires loyalty and encourages industrial growth. No matter how difficult or expensive the objective, Koopa doesn't give up. Shoots fireballs to protect the nation.
Cons: Checkered past involving a princess-kidnapping scandal. Poor public speaker.
Edea Kramer
Pros: Well-known aura of power, supports the local schools and orphanages, possesses a private army and an arsenal of magical spells. Throws very inspiring parades.
Cons: Possessed by an evil sorceress.
Voting is your civic duty. Vote in the poll in the right-hand sidebar.