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The Magical Internet Sea

Written By mista sense on Friday, May 16, 2008 | 8:51 AM

Having a site called "Sexy Videogameland" means that a terrifying percentage of my web hits come from people around the world typing the word "sexy," all by itself, into Google. Why would anyone do that? You'd think they could be a little more specific.

I often keep an eye on my search terms, because if people are coming here repeatedly looking for something that might possibly fall in my purview, I try to make sure they find it. "odin sphere art book"? I can do that. "persona 3 hentai?" You know it. "pokemon dawn hentai?" ...I could, but I won't, because that makes me feel really icky.

Then, there are some people that I just can't, or don't want to help, not now, not ever. Let's all laugh at them:

sexy blood elf fap - You do that.
sexy fuck game at the period time of girl - I tried to think of a hentai game involving "the period time of girl," but I actually can't recall any. I'm sure there are some.
look how he do sexy vedio - Yes, look at that.
big graphics porn game - As opposed to small, unsatisfying graphics, surely.
leigh alexander fuck - Excuse me?
sexy grunty hentai - Grunty from Banjo? Are you fricking kidding me?
miss bimbo hentai version - Isn't the real version enough of an obscenity?
sexy baseball game - Have 2K Sports get right on that.
shiki hentai - I have already posted that I possess no such thing. If someone sends it to me, I'll put it in the gallery.

Like an ocean, the undertow welcomes in the strange and filthy, but still the clean waves wash life-giving water onto the shores, or something. I wanted to recognize a few of my favorite comments over the last week-ish; I no longer have any time to keep on top of the "Best of SVGL" competitions I used to run, but I still constantly appreciate everything you all bring to my site.

Robert said...

Oh and lets' be honest Leigh, you're just burying yourself in work to try to deny the fact that the Yankees are in last place. [--SHUT UP SHUT UP LALALALALALA]

Phil Villarreal said...

The reason video games are being made into movies is because Hollywood has just about run out of comic books. They're planning an Ant Man movie.

That last sentence was both a joke and true. [...Ant Man? I didn't even know there was an Ant Man.]
N'Gai said...


If Pauline Kael or her editors had decided that her mandate was "more about sharing movie culture with the curious or the casual," movie criticism would be all the poorer for it. The same would have been true of music criticism if Lester Bangs or his editors had decided that his mandate was "more about sharing music culture with the curious or the casual." I believe that if my peers in the mainstream media and I do our jobs correctly; if we write clearly and lucidly, general interest readers are capable of absorbing far more genuine and truthful portrayals of what it's like to experience an individual game than we are currently giving them. To do otherwise is a form of condescension--well-intentioned, perhaps, but it's condescension nonetheless. [I learned I'm a little more cynical than N'Gai, or at least have a different timeline in mind, but I sure can love a "don't settle" mandate.]
Anskiere said...

I started realizing that I was getting too accustomed to "being able to save almost anywhere and not worry about losing tons of play time" back in my PS1 days.

It happened with Blaster Master: Blasting Again. I went through almost an entire level without having a save, and died. I got so frustrated that I quit the game for a while. A few days later I had the realization that part of the reason I was such a huge fan of the original Blaster Master was that there was no saving... and it was a hard game.
I also then realized that we were getting more and more spoiled with games getting "easier" in that you almost never lose hours of work anymore. [I wonder if I'm fed up with The World Ends With You because I just can't handle not being awesome at it immediately.]

Noc said...

I'm pretty sure that "necessary grinding" in a single-player game equals "bad level design." [A lot of designers probably agree with you.]

Don Pachi said...

As you said, people get into game development expecting to do one thing and likely wind up doing something different and probably less glamorous, memorable, or good.

Along the way, one can either give in to feelings of negativity in the face of adversity, or soldier on with the original dreams and ambitions in mind. It's by all means easier to feel cynical, and by all means harder to soldier on. The reality that friends in this industry are also, in a sense, competing for a limited number of jobs is also difficult to accept.

I've worked on the periphery of the game industry for more than a decade and finally got into development more recently. What drives me (and what I expect will always drive me) is that every year, without fail, a number of games come out that amaze and inspire me. A lot of blood, sweat, and tears tend to go into making these games from what I understand, but from my perspective, the effort is worth it. My chances of working on something like that one day may be slim, but if I don't work in this business, those chances are zero. And I'll take those chances. [I like that attitude. Am I terrible for wanting to say something like, 'see how you feel in ten years?' I tend to believe I'm an optimistic person, but many of you have been peeling the lid off of my secret cynicism lately. I think I need an attitude adjustment.]

It was as hard just to pick a few, as it always is, but I thought these people's thoughts stood alone nicely even separate from the post context. In the case of long comments, these are just sections edited for length, okay?

[UPDATE: I should have anticipated this, but a peek at my referrers today shows that several of you are googling rather hilarious things to do with my name. Nice.]

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